BAH, HUM BUG!!

Today I'm going to tell you about the real Christmas story. I say real because so many people don't celebrate what Christmas is really about. Ever seen the Veggie Tales movie "The Toy Who Saved Christmas"? If you haven't look it up. Although in our world toys don't really come to life, and there aren't life size vegetables running around, the message is true. People use Christmas as an excuse to buy stuff. Even we Christians can lose sight of why Christmas really is celebrated. So sit down (you probably are if you're reading this), grab some hot chocolate (not eggnog. It's nasty), and roast chestnuts on an open fire. Actually, don't. Do you know how dangerous open fires are? And hot chocolate could burn your tongue if you don't cool it down. No, it's better if there is no fire and no hot chocolate. But you can sit down. Where was I again? Ah yes, the Christmas story (the quick and easy to read version).

Once upon a time, there was this teenager named Mary who was going to marry this guy named Joseph. Yes, she was a teenager. Back then, it wasn't uncommon for a girl to get married by fifteen or sixteen. One day, while she was doing girly things, an angel appeared to her. Now this was a very prestigious angel named Gabriel. This angel told Mary that she would have a child, not by Joseph, but through the Holy Spirit. And this child would be God's son. Of course, Mary was both grateful for this wonderful thing God was going to do with her. She was also afraid, for if the others found out that she was pregnant without, um, you know what with Joseph, she would be killed. Once he found out, Joseph decided to just divorce her quietly. However, he had a visit by an angel who told him to not divorce Mary. So, because of a census the Caesar had decreed, they both traveled to Bethlehem with Mary almost ready to give birth. All the inns were full though, as full as the hotels in Indianapolis would be if we had the Superbowl in our city. So they slept in a stable and while there, Mary had her baby, Jesus (applauding at this part is recommended).
Now we get to some even stranger stuff. Some shepherds were out at night watching over there sheep. Back then, being shepherd is like the modern equivalent of having a job of cleaning the toilets everyday at the airport, without ever stopping to do anything else. Shepherds were the lowest of the low. But God chose to send his angels to them to tell them of Jesus's birth. Why? Well, think back to why God sent his son in the first place. Jesus came to save us sinners from, what else, our sin. We were the lowest of the low. We had left God and gone our own way, we had sinned fully knowing what we did was wrong and yet continued to do it. God wanted to show us that he didn't stop loving us just because we had sunk so low. So he sent his son. And that's why the angels appeared to the shepherds, in my opinion. He wanted to show that he didn't care that they were the lowest in society. He still loved the shepherds as much as he loved the kings. Throughout Jesus's ministry, he would continue to show this. So the shepherds went and worshiped Jesus and then told all the townsfolk about him.
There were also wise men. They lived far away in the east, so they arrived a couple years later. They had seen a bright star. They had read that a star would appear when the King of the Jews appeared. So they went to Herod, the king of Judea (more on him in a moment) to ask where he was and Herod told them that he would be born in Bethlehem. Now, we usually think there are three, because there are three gifts they give to Jesus: Gold, frankincense (used by priests), and myrrh (used for burying people). The Bible never specifies that there are just three. It just used the plural, Magi (another word for wise men). There could be two, or twenty.
Why would they give these lavish gifts to Jesus? Well, Jesus is called a king (hence "King of the Jews"). Therefore they brought gold. He is also called the High Priest, therefore they brought frankincense. Myrrh was brought because only the wealthy could afford myrrh for their funeral. Isn't it creepy, that these old dudes brought a toddler spices for when he dies?
Now, we come to Herod (cue the music in D minor). Herod was not nice. He was scared when he hear that a King of the Jews had been born. He had ordered the wise men to report where the baby was so he could "worship him". Luckily, the wise men had gotten a message from an angel to not go back to Herod. So Herod din't know exactly where Jesus was. He couldn't let opposition to the throne live. He ordered every baby boy two and under to be killed. Herod was like a mini Adolf Hitler. He should be wrapped up in duct tape. Fortunately for Jesus, Joseph had been warned as well, so they took a vacation to Egypt until Herod had died.

Well, that's it. Jesus was born to Mary though the Holy Spirit, dirty, smelly shepherds and foreign wise men came and worshiped him, and a scary, old, mean guy name Herod killed a bunch of people. That's a lot different than the Christmas story we're used to. There was no comfy little manger scene with everybody kneeling and quietly worshiping Jesus. There probably was a lot of shepherds all trying to see Jesus and singing out of tune very loudly, animals making noises because of the shepherds, and contrary to popular belief, Jesus was probably crying very loudly. And when the wise men came, there were probably a ton of other people wanting to see what was going on, and they probably came right when Mary was cooking or cleaning or busy with Jesus.

What's this have to do with Dickens book though? In his book, Charles Dickens emphasizes the importance of giving and sharing what you have with those not so fortunate, even if it means sacrificing something for yourself. God sent that same message. Without sending Jesus, we were doomed to die just like Tiny Tim. But God knew that to save us, it would require sacrifice on both his and Jesus's part. His love for us was too great to not save us and thus sent his son. Aren't you glad didn't look down and think, "Bah, hum bug!"
During this Christmas season I want you to:
-Think about the true meaning of Christmas.
-Say a prayer on Christmas morning thanking God and Jesus for their sacrifice
-Sing a couple songs to worship God.
-Don't be a scrooge. Give happily and generously!
-Only say "Bah, hum bug" if you are trying to be funny (if you're my sister, don't say it at all. You aren't funny).
-Don't drink hot chocolate if it's too hot.
-Stay away from open fires.
-Send a thank you note to the company that makes duct tape (optional)

Agent 23 signing out.
Operation Christmas Story: Accomplished